Animal Magnetism Enthusiasts Pillows

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

"Is your dog friendly?"

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

'My mother was a real bitch!'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

'A beaver wearing a mountie hat riding a moose! Still think we haven't crossed into Canada?'

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

'The day has come.'

Magnet at scrapyard

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

Polly Clinic.

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

"Me, I've quit racing. I was very good at it, but I just couldn't hack the early training sessions..."

'I think you're confusing self-loathing with lactose intolerance.'

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'

"Don't feel bad, son. The people are only screaming because they're such big fans."

'All this job requires is some mud-wallowing and snarling... I'd say you're overqualified.'

'Hank, Barry just said his first word: Dam!'

"Alternative lifestyle."