Animal-loving Brother Gifts

'We sleep 18 hours a day, eat whenever we want and the rest is all free time. So what's the big difference up here?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Haute Suture

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dog wearing a cone

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Christmas Pets

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Chasebook

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

'So... Who's chasing who?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Cat king.

Dog traps the postman.

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

"It's nice to be wanted."

Meow Power Demolition team.