Animal Lovers Who Enjoy Irony Pillows

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

End the Winter Blues

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

Free Range Golfers

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

Marxist Elephant

'I don't feel like there is anything to sing about.'

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the first minute I saw you I wished you the worst."

Free Range Chicken.

'No, but you're getting warmer.'

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

101 uses of a dead cat: Christmas decorations.

Rabbit being eaten.

I see you share my hatred for hamsters..

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

'I've always felt safe shopping online.'

"Animals can't speak and they certainly don't wear clothes! Damn fake news!"

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

'and what do you do?'

"If he's really your best friend, why did he have your tail cut off?"

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'

Executioner hit in stomach bythe head he has just cut off

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

"Yeah, yeah. Everybody's got palms and opposable thumbs and the ass only has hooves... Get over yourselves, people!"

"I don't know about you, but I am delighted by all this incongruity."

'And how would you like your grass this evening?'

'Still think rodeo isn't faked?'

"Let's start the polygraph test with an easy question — Are you a good boy?"

'Argh, Harold, what happened to you?'

'Ok...so then we're agreed that it's all about me!'

'It's certainly the worst case of 'frog in my throat' I've ever seen!'

'How many times did I say it? Rex, I said, don't go too close to the cliff.'