Animal Lovers Who Enjoy Irony Pillows

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

End the Winter Blues

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

Free Range Golfers

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

'I don't feel like there is anything to sing about.'

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the first minute I saw you I wished you the worst."

Free Range Chicken.

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

'No, but you're getting warmer.'

101 uses of a dead cat: Christmas decorations.

I see you share my hatred for hamsters..

'I've always felt safe shopping online.'

"Animals can't speak and they certainly don't wear clothes! Damn fake news!"

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

Rabbit being eaten.

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

'Still think rodeo isn't faked?'

"If he's really your best friend, why did he have your tail cut off?"

"Let's start the polygraph test with an easy question — Are you a good boy?"

"I don't know about you, but I am delighted by all this incongruity."

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

'And how would you like your grass this evening?'

Executioner hit in stomach bythe head he has just cut off

'and what do you do?'

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'

'Ok...so then we're agreed that it's all about me!'

'Argh, Harold, what happened to you?'

'It's certainly the worst case of 'frog in my throat' I've ever seen!'

'How many times did I say it? Rex, I said, don't go too close to the cliff.'

"Thank you for your opinions, I will now continue to do as I damn well please."