Animal Irony Fan Pillows

"I don't know about you, but I am delighted by all this incongruity."

101 uses of a dead cat: bird table

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Author does not do tricks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'Oh Hi!'

The americanisation of vulture.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"I rented out the basement."

Cat leaves obedience school smiling because he got an 'F' on his report card.

Why giraffes hate winter

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'