Animal Kingdom Aficionados T-Shirts

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

So much for a traditional funeral.

'It's not often you see an eskimo dog in the burbs!'

"They're fake plastic vampire fangs from a dress-up shop, but boy do they make the wolves turn around and leave me alone..."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'Check out the old dude.'

Hitch-hiking Penguin.

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

Thug life on safari.

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

"Let's do it, let's fall in love!"

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

'Take me to your leader Earthworm.'

'Think about it: There's only one Queen, so we must be sisters!'

Dog Drawing a Badger.

"Is your dog friendly?"

Want the wings as an appetizer?

'Thanks for the heads up!'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'