Animal Hospital Humorist Pillows

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Hats and Food

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Scuba cow"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."