Animal Healer Humorist Pillows

'You'll find that Doctor has his own method of dealing with deadbeats!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."