Animal Clinic Humorist Pillows

'I don't care if a person would have been treated the same way. This is not a person. This is MY DOG!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Scuba cow"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Cats at private view

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Dogs life

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.