Animal Clubs Gifts

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

"I have no thumbs."

Raised by Dogs

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'The grudge match.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Niche Extracurriculars

'It's always the same, isn't it, Dave?... Every time you spot a glitter ball!'

'Dad has lamb's-quarter, pigweed, sheep sorrel, chickweed and buckhorn, and we can't even have a dog.'

Can you help on our arts night for the environment? I'll be studying. Eco club. That's so short-sighted. I'm in 3 AP science classes. Someday I'll discover ways to organically eradicate pollution. Eco club. That's sooo long-sighted.

Pole Vaulting Club

The Croucho Club

Here's eco club's green-prom tip sheet. Let's see. Wear vintage clothing. Buy locally grown corsage flowers. Use biodegradable cups and plates. Eco club. This is so obvious. How about the tough stuff? Ok. Who knows where to recycle gel pads from push-up bras? The place that takes the fake hair extensions?

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

Cat and Dog Fights.

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

Time-of-the-month club.

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."

'If you couldn't get into clubs, what makes you think you can get in here?'

"It doesn't matter. They give us the same food no matter where we are."

Elephant blowing up balloons

"Welcome back sir: please come down..."

You conservative dunce! You socialist ignoramus. Blue. Debate club. Red. Dittohead! Liberal fruitcake! Time's up! The winner of this school's tv talk show style debate is team red! Is that a cell phone? No. Decibel meter. Ungha! Ungha!! Ungh!!!

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

I use to file your expenses at the office Mr. Henderson, but I never dreamed I'd be one of them.

'Oh, I just love dealing with investment clubs. Now, in whose name will you be buying the one-half share of Microsoft?'