Animal Anthropomorphizer Pillows

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'

"Whoa is me."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Do me next."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"She's a miniature."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

'He's been doing this ever since he saw the Lion King!'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

Alligator Bars

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"No religious nuts!"

"Then I realised, I was just a child substitute."

"'Cheers'? 'Lorry'? 'Jumper'? You can talk, boy? And you're British??"

"Estate sale"

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"Please don't go!"