Animal Analogist T-Shirts

You look like the cat who ate the canary. Actually, I'm the wolverine who ate your leftover prosciutto hoagie.

Football Chameleon

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"Ever eat a bird?"

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

'He's been doing this ever since he saw the Lion King!'

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

Zoo Society Costume Party. Lot's of people had the same idea --- We're surrounded by fake gnus.

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

Lion Costume

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

"It's sad watching his desperate attempts to stay relevant."

"He does impressions too!"

Owl

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'Do you know something? If I couldn't eat, I would just die!'

"Actually, I've begun to look like he wishes he looked."

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

"So, sniffed any interesting butts lately?"

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'