Animal Ambassador Gifts

'Bonjour, je m'appelle Henri, je suis Percheron.'

"Maybe some of us don't want to give ourselves a round of applause for agreeing to restore the delicate balance of our ecosystem."

"He wants you to shake hands."

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"Sometimes I wonder how we ended up on the inside looking out."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Support group for sheep.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

dog vs UFO...

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

The Golfing Accident

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."