Animal Advocates With A Twist Gifts

"I would be an animal-rights activist, but I have allergies."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

dog vs UFO...

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

The Golfing Accident

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."