Animal Advice Gifts

'Trust me kid: You never really know if you have a good master until you stop being cute...'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

The Golfing Accident

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

dog vs UFO...

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

Soft Spot.

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."