Animal Actor Pillows

"Leave my private parts alone, and I'll let you exploit me as a talking dog."

"I told him: Of you want cute, get a kitten. If you want a professional, call me."

"I knew her when she was just a stray. Now she's making a fool of herself in a room full of balloons."

Shepherd and eurydice

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'They all want to play the star.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."