Anglo-saxon Aficionado Gifts

Alfred the Great

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Joust Sharpener

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

TV jester.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Oh great, the printer is down."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Knights of the bedside table.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

underwater knight

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

Car joust.

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Who ordered a pizza?"

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."