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Glad Tidings.

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

Planting by the Moon.

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Angel to lady: 'I'm the angel food cake angel. I bring you peace, hope and comfort food.'

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'I wish these wings were for more than show.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"Bip."

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

The Reason for Storms

Mexican angels.

Heavenly Gazette This Heavenly Gazette is awfully thin. There doesn't seem to be a financial section Because you can't take it with you. There's no weather forecast. It's perfect every day. I don't see any sports scores. Everybody's a winner up here. And there are no political reports. Of course not in paradise we don't hear anything about politics!

The Inner Dog.

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"I opted for the upgrades."

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"So, what is your star sign?"

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"I haven't seen you up here before. When were you uploaded?"

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"