Angelic Gatekeeping Fan Gifts

Gates of heaven with bouncers

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Shoe repair

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

God's failing sales chart in evidence at meeting. God says 'Okay, any ideas?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

Sixties rock stars in heaven.

"I think it's funny, but that guy may have a problem with it."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Water Balloons.

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

Angel Crash

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

Death of the pope.

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

Chicken Soup For The Soul's Soul.

Heaven - Under New Management.

'Yeah, Saint Peter here. I locked myself out again.'

'I'd feel very fortunate if I were you. My music WAS appreciated in my lifetime, and then played to death in elevators and shopping malls!'

"Yeah - I keep getting aborted."

'I see my wife made it in.'

Heaven, Head in the clouds, smoke.

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

If you don't mind throwing tennis balls for eternity, I do have an opening in doggie heaven.