Angelic Behavior Analyst Gifts

'I'm here on probation.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

"People are crazy."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

Sigmund Freud