Angelic Alumnus T-Shirts

"Athletic scholarship."

"How can you be out of wings?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Look man, no wings!'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Hey, that's just one omniscient guy's opinion."

Angel playing music

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

Arch of Triumph Save

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"I don't understand what people are saying up here."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

One angel watches as another angel plays the harp.

Duck hunter: 'UH-OH' A Duck hunter has accidentally shot down an Angel

'Please hold for an eternity...'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"Don't get too comfortable. It's a timeshare."

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

"It was either create a universe or play solitaire for an eternity."

Cat Heaven.

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'