Angelic Alumnus T-Shirts

"Athletic scholarship."

"How can you be out of wings?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Look man, no wings!'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Hey, that's just one omniscient guy's opinion."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Angel playing music

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

Arch of Triumph Save

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

One angel watches as another angel plays the harp.

Duck hunter: 'UH-OH' A Duck hunter has accidentally shot down an Angel

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

"It was either create a universe or play solitaire for an eternity."

"Don't get too comfortable. It's a timeshare."

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'