Angel Fan Pillows

'We're from Manhattan."

'869 years isn't old, Methuselah. You're good for another hundred years.'

'I'd feel very fortunate if I were you. My music WAS appreciated in my lifetime, and then played to death in elevators and shopping malls!'

"What, haven't you ever heard of a St. Bernard?"

'Would you please stop saying 'I feel like I've died and gone to heaven'.'

Organ Donor

Shoe repair

"The nerve! Wearing red pumps!"

"Yeah - I keep getting aborted."

Man at Heavens gate being asked '...and what about the LBW decision on August 19th 1973...?'

"This, you call a beautiful sunrise?"

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

Water Balloons.

"It always takes me a couple of cups of coffee to feel the rapture."

"I expected the moral assessment, but the credit check surprised me."

"Artie, you would not believe what’s going on down there."

"Is it kosher to say '#Blessed' on this post?"

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

'All he ever talks about is his bloody autopsy!'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Angel to lady: 'I'm the angel food cake angel. I bring you peace, hope and comfort food.'

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

Mexican angels.

'I wish these wings were for more than show.'

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

"Bip."