Ancient Wisdom Fan Gifts

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Jason and the Aga notes,

Loopholes

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

Really Early Vikings

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

'It's amazing - the arrows seem to follow you around the cave'

'Confusion some years before the invention of the axle.'

The real reason for the pyramids.

Hypatia

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Hill Figure

The pyramids were built using advanced alien knowledge.

FedRex

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

Monster chariot races

A bird nesting on a statue of Caesar

Roman paramedic.

The Day They Invented Papyrus

'Razed any good cities lately?'

'Can I hop in, since I was on your team?'

A baseball game is played in an ancient Roman arena; the emperor gives a thumbs-down signal, declaring a player to be out of the game

Wheel

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'It appears the empire really is declining and falling.'

"He's really gone uphill, hasn't he?"

"Tell the general there'll be no reasoning with these idiots. They've brought along a conspiracy theorist."

'My latest invention -- the daisy wheel!'

"Hey, knock it off. We need those!"