Ancient Wisdom Fan Gifts

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Jason and the Aga notes,

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

Loopholes

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

Really Early Vikings

410 BC: The Roman empire begins its slide into decadence.

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

'Confusion some years before the invention of the axle.'

The real reason for the pyramids.

'It's amazing - the arrows seem to follow you around the cave'

Hypatia

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Hill Figure

FedRex

The pyramids were built using advanced alien knowledge.

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

Monster chariot races

A bird nesting on a statue of Caesar

'Razed any good cities lately?'

Roman paramedic.

The Day They Invented Papyrus

Wheel

'Can I hop in, since I was on your team?'

A baseball game is played in an ancient Roman arena; the emperor gives a thumbs-down signal, declaring a player to be out of the game

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'It appears the empire really is declining and falling.'

"He's really gone uphill, hasn't he?"

And risk a splinter in my hand? No, sir, I'll take my chances with your so-called lion.

Ben Hur Gets A Tow

"Tell the general there'll be no reasoning with these idiots. They've brought along a conspiracy theorist."

I'm "Oog," this is "Wonk" and the guy drawing on the wall behind you in "Blog."

'My latest invention -- the daisy wheel!'