Ancient Times Aficionado Gifts

'We've got a personnel problem -- by the time they punch in, they're too tired to work.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Bacchus.

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Repurposing the aqueducts of Ancient Rome.

"Have you been playing dice?"

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

'It's an extinction notice.'

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Those Were The Days

Trojan Hurdler.

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

"Here's the parking lot."

Hey, dad, do you think we could play something besides "catch"?

Sphinx Comes Alive

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

Mark Anthony on Zoom.

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

Oedipus

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

I came, I saw, I partied!

Romans.

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'