Ancient Script Sleuth Gifts

"This was a class in hieroglyphics as a second language."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'They all want to play the star.'

Paranormal A-Z...

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

He looks so natural lying there...

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

Eugene Ionesco

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

Lost Property - Missing Head

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

Dear Diary

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

"What part of oil lamp next to double squiggle over ox don't you understand?"

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

Scarecrow.

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"