Ancient Egypt Admirer Gifts

The plague of frogs begins

'The new papyrus bestseller just in...'

The Sphynx wearing a red nose.

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

Akhnaten believe it's your birthday!

Two mummies kiss

Trick or Treat

In udder de Nile

Man tries to peep behind the screen in a museum.

Sphinx with lightbulb head powered by the sun.

'Unleashing that ancient curse has done wonders for my cardio.'

Pharaoh on the toilet.

"We Don't Need Men. We Can Lick Our Own Vaginas"

'Talk about government waste! A tombstone would have been sufficient!'

"With this design you don't have to worry about being tipped over on Halloween."

Pyramid teabags

'I fully support your goals, but I can't condone your methods.'

'Hold everything, the Pharaoh's opted for cremation!'

"There are two opportunities available; Pharaoh's physician, or Pharaoh's slave. If I were you, I'd go with the slave option, the working conditions are much better."

"I'm sorry...I haven't had a woman in 3000 years."

'Psst! Get us a cup of honey and cinnamon would you?'

"Ahh, those were the good old days."

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Jason and the Aga notes,

Egyptian Football

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Troys'R'Us.

"Have your people call my people."

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

"Trust me to get the awkward one...!"