Egyptian Admirer Gifts

"Ain't no denying it son. It's a genuine fact that the surfers rule."

Tut and Carmen.

"It feels good to unwind..."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Troys'R'Us.

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Have your people call my people."

Blue Dress

The Mummy's Purse...

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

In udder de Nile

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

"Trust me to get the awkward one...!"

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"I dropped my goblet!"

A Real Pinata Surprise

Fun on the pyramids

"It's a fixer upper."

The Venus de Milo after vandals put a prosthetic arm on her.

'Unleashing that ancient curse has done wonders for my cardio.'

Diogenes and tourists

"He died young."

I'm not convinced that the pyramids of Giza were built as tombs. Sure they were used as tombs, but for all we know, they were built far earlier by some other civilization, and the pharaohs just claimed credit for them. How do we know the pyramids weren't something far more high-tech, like for instance hydroelectric power generators for an advanced civilization? You tell me, how did you charge your cellphone back in 10,000 B.C.? Hydropower from the tears of dorks, here, let me show you ...

The Lesser Pyramids

'Sorry, but I'll have to call back...I'm all wrapped up at the moment.'

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

Stoics vs. Epicureans.

'Him?.. Oh, he's the guy who discovered fire.'

Ancient Egyptian Doctors

"In accepting this hemlock, I should like to thank the entire team for its dedication in making 'the Socratic method' a byword. And, of course, my devoted wife, Xanthippe."

Ancient space travellers return to Earth.

Discobolus of Myron and Cerberus

Sphinx with lightbulb head powered by the sun.

Narcissus