Ancient Diet Analyst Pillows

"I try to eat right, but huge chunks of raw meat are all you can find these days."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Before/After

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

"Eating less and exercising more. . . It's the only thing that works but how can we monetise it?"

"IT's a radical new diet I'm developing. I knock out all your teeth so you can't eat and therefore you lose weight."

"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."

'Are you SURE they're a good source of potassium?'

'I suggest you go easy on the fast food.'

Anorexic flora.

'Ew! It's got FAT on it.'

"We ought to give this diet a name."

'It's finally happened - no fats, no sugar, no colouring, no ingredients whatsoever!'

"He's on the paleo diet."

'In the last 26 years, I've lost 2143 pounds. Unfortunately, in the same period I've gained 2187 pounds!'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

'It's not fair,' said Eve, 'even when I eat healthily I'm made to feel guilty.'

"Good news and bad news. The good news is that we got your weight down to a more manageable level. The bad news..."

'Curses on historical perspective.'

Center for diet research

The eat well - lose weight - be calm diet.

Fat Free Food, Salt Free Food, Cholesterol Free Food and Food Free Food.

Health Food Research: Mouse commits suicide

'Hundred and fifty kilos of slimming pills please!...And a glass of water.'

"You don't seem to be retaining water, you seem to be retaining beer!"