Ancient Book Clubber Gifts

Prehistoric Pop-Up Books Club

Bacchus.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Repurposing the aqueducts of Ancient Rome.

Sue the Author 3PM

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

Books - Cartoon Collections: HumorGraphic NovelsBlasphemy.

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Wine? Okay. I really don't care what you call it; let's invite over the two sisters from the cave next door.'

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

"You'll never believe who's here."

IMHOtep

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"I'm really gonna miss Rome."

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

Joseph Furphy and Miles Franklin.

"Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, is a nerd!"

Janus 2021

I love how this writer revels in romantic passion. And defends challenging boyfriends. She embraces passion even if hearts are broken. She got my heart racing! How was your book? Boring. You wouldn't like it.

Henry James

"Hello, police? I appear to have killed my husband with chapters 24 of 50 Shades of Grey..."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'