Book Club Aficionado Gifts

'Most people wouldn't wantonly eat the hors d'oeuvres if they hadn't read the book.'

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"She's promiscuous. She's in five book groups."

Night of the Living Well-Read

"It was good, but nobody died."

The first book club. I can't explain it but people use this as a reason to get together and drink wine.

What Men Really Discuss at Book Club. What Women Really Discuss at Book Club.

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

Marriage in the Nineteenth Century Novel

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"Now, now, Gerald, this colouring-in book club doesn't tolerate childish behaviour."

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

Colouring-in Book Club.

"My Book-of-the-Month Club is here!"

"Meet The Author"

Victor Hugo

Edgar Allen Poe

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Reading my Critics

The Dorrie Decimal System

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Sue the Author 3PM

Stephen Spender.

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Gunter Grass

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years