Anchor Pillows

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"I don't think you can blame the Bank for an individual failing to follow procedures...I mean we have told people on several occassions not to empty the vault and take all the money home."

"It appears we're having technical problems getting our roving reporter's update from the war torn republic."

"Like it? It's a Morley Safer."

'Other bad news' department.

'...and now for the news. The names have been changed to protect us from lawsuits.'

Faith Intact

Shepherd and eurydice

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

They hated me.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Just be yourself."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Showbiz Awards

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Benedict Cumberbatch

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

The fate of the emigrant

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'