Analyzing Stories T-Shirts

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Now I really hate poetry."

"I'm the bad guy..."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

100 best beheadings

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Don Quixote

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

Book publishing.

The Truth

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

'can you breath some life into this?'

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Jack and the Beanie stock.

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

At the 'Feel Good' movie of the year.

"I told him. . . 'Norman, forget that woman! She's no good for you! I need you to run the Bates Motel! Norman! Are you listening to your mother?'"

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

Raymond Queneau

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself while both hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

The movie was over. But not for Bob.

The cinema of the Absurd.

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff