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"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

Moses' Tablet

Physician tending a mummy.

Cord cutter

"Early model of baggage claim"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Right here's fine."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"Hipsters"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Professor, this changes everything."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"Your remote control, sire."

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"That guys is stealing my data!"

"Hot Pocket"

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Any chance you could do it at a higher resolution?"

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

'It's okay, they're with me.'

Don Quixote is recorded by Sancho Panza.

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"All I need now is a trainer!"

"This is your captain speaking."