Amputee Stories Pillows

"Welcome and here is your ear and arm back."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

'Have you been waiting long?'

Being Serenading in Casualty

Robinson Crusoe's blog.

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

The incomplete Angler

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

"Holy water, holy water...."

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

Martin Gray.

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. The anesthesiologist is on vacation."

'There are only two things stopping you from being a good dancer, Mr. Jones. Your feet!'

"Hey, I'm just happy the transplant worked at all."

'Gee!'

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

'If it has the word 'ectomy' after it, I've already had it.'

Deflating Island