Amicable Splitter Gifts

"I don't mean to stir anything up, dear, but don't you think that perhaps our divorce was a little too amicable?"

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"Young Billy play lak he on fire tonite!"

"Before you begin, let's come up with a safe word so I can say if I need you to stop."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

'I swapped the piano for Stewie's guitar.'

Comfort Zone Lady Leaving a Room.

'Arcadian, Brian. It's an Arcadian evening!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

"Don't overdo it, dear."

"Because of the war can we split this?"

"My husband will be home any minute - quick, take the accordion!"

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'I want a transfer-I'm fed up wearing this same outfit week after week!'

'You don't stand a chance. I'm loaded with cheetah genes.'

Accordion

Accordian

Lesser-Known 'Conscious Uncouplings

Standards mugged

"It was amicable. She got the phones and I got the data plan."

'...Okay...so who had the thirteen bottles of Chardonnay?'

'. . . And Keith magically had to go to the bathroom right when the bill arrives. . . why do I always have to pay the lion's share?'

Guy reading Accordion Monthly, which has bellows in the middle.

Mutual breakup.

'You do want me to recover from this heart attack, don't you, Cynthia?'

'We weren't amicable, but our attorneys certainly were.'

'You're taller than I expected.' - 'I'm standing on my blisters.'

Accordion Duet

'We need to work on that slice of yours.'