Amicable Breaker Gifts

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Let's not go by the book.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'Read that last part back to me.'

I love Basketball.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."