American West Geek Gifts

'That's the great Scottish Indian fighter, Hawkeye the Noo!'

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Dawing your Cellphone

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"They look like pickles."

Epic Battles

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I’ll tell ya who’s got a ‘dark side’: my cat, that’s who. You should see what she did to my Manolo Blahnik pumps!"

Loch Ness Beer Monster

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

'Marmaduke! What did you do?!!?'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

'A warm stethoscope? Wow! You guys really are advanced.'

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.