American West Geek Gifts

'That's the great Scottish Indian fighter, Hawkeye the Noo!'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

Dawing your Cellphone

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"They look like pickles."

Epic Battles

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

'Marmaduke! What did you do?!!?'

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

"I’ll tell ya who’s got a ‘dark side’: my cat, that’s who. You should see what she did to my Manolo Blahnik pumps!"

Loch Ness Beer Monster

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

'A warm stethoscope? Wow! You guys really are advanced.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.