Amateur Snailologist T-Shirts

Round the garden in eighty days

The Zoo.

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Local food for local consumption

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

Snail Racing

Slug Bait- snails love it

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

'Do you mind!!?'

Snail Man

Snail Pattern Balding.

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

“If they were huggers like us they would have evolved useful arms.”

Ewww

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

Snail Coach

"You're right, I can totally see my lung."

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

Snail Mail

Congratulations! When are you due?

'Stress'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."