Amateur Puppeteer Gifts

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

A Puppet Named Juan

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'He does.'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Finger puppets in church.

Ventriloquist Grave

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"I don't know, do you think we evolved from the sock monkey?"

'Just reading the minutes back will be sufficient.'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

And now, for a rebuttal.

"I've called you here to discuss some issues because this big sissy didn't have the guts."

Ventriloquist Audition

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"She said don't forget the straw."

'You ought to get out more according to experts.'

"I feel like we're finally making progress."