Amateur Psychologist Pillows

"He works and plays well with others."

"Don't try and confuse me with the truth."

'I hate to take a problem to bed with me, but my husband refuses to sleep alone.'

'Give me the penis... ...I mean 'remote'.'

"So which bit do you think was 'nature' and which 'nurture'?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Pavlov's Puppy

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

"I'm watching the dog cheat at solitaire."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Free-Floating Anxiety

'Quit clowning about, Fred.'

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Blok drives by New York City.

Pavlov's Cat

Regardless children just want to fit in.

Mummy Shrink.

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

"You have got to want to change."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

"Do you feel you were loved as a tadpole?"

"Enough already! You’re depressing me!"

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

Receptionist to patient about psychiatrist: 'Dr. Zwecklos canceled all his appointments for this week - he went off the deep end again.'

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."