Altruistic Physicist Gifts

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

Working On Silly String Theory.

'Someone calling himself a bio-ethicist is here to see you.'

The Poor Man Donating Love to the Rich

Holiday Shopping for Guys

Vampire Blood Donor - I've never done this before.

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

"Despite your good intentions, you failed to report it as income!"

Help - "What's in it for me?"

"Why does your all-knowing, all-powerful god need marketing?"

"Young man, you're the only one who bothered to stop!"

'This is not what we meant, Snider, when we asked for a thorough study of the laws of gravity.'

The Street Kid at Christmas.

Santa Claus donates blood.

One in ten Minnesotans live with hunger.

Water carriers/bearers.

"This is exactly why I oppose free hand-outs."

"I'm a do-gooder, Maggie. It's not easy."

'Public spirited mathematician comes to work every weekend to do some pro bono equations'

"We steal gold from the rich and sell it to a metals broker. They make a prfit on their buy and sell spread and share a portion of that with us. Then, after the skimming and the rebates, we give to the poor."

"You do pro bono work, I work for a non-profit, we both do volunteer work... that's why we need food stamps."

Please give U.S. Fire & Flooding Victims

'I've changed my mind, I'm using all mine!'

Bums Without Borders

"It says here that you gave a lot of money to both parties and neither expected nor received anything in return. Very nice, but we'll have to put you in the crazy section."

'It's good that you enjoy volunteerism. This job pays just about nothing.'

"When I win the lottery, I'll be an agent of goodness...giving every last penny to needy children, the homeless, and the sick and destitute of the world."

"I've donated blood fourteen times. . .!"

"I am convinced that God does not play cards with the universe."

"You haven't said 'Thank You' once."