Alternative Therapy Critic Pillows

"It appears the pain is caused by your acupuncture treatments."

Self help acupuncture

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

A shrink charges $200 an hour, but double chocolate layer cake is only $19.95.

"I don't think this is doing me any good."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'Extreme acupuncture.'

Therapy Group For Those Who Are Afraid of Therapy Groups

'Got anything for a headache?'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

'I was in the circus before I took up acupuncture.'

New Age Anatomy...

"Sorry. No refunds."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

'Therapy and medications are not the only options for your obsessive behavior.'

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

2013: psychoanalysis is formally declared a scam.

"Mr. Dinsdale - come back!"

That was refreshing. My long, sad story? No, my nap.

I heard you've to an awful, mysterious pain in the side of your face. Yeah. You can try the modern approach, drug yourself silly so you don't feel the pain. You know a better way, Sadie? Well, in your case, I'd suggest going with the tried and true cure-all: Drill a hole in your head to let out the demons. No need. You're already out. That's ... Well-played, nemesis. Well-played.

'I'm not paying $200 per hour for therapy, so you must be the one who's nuts.'