Alternative Therapy Enthusiast Pillows

'You're new to acupuncture, then?'

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

'We're closed... the Yoga teacher's bent out of shape over the acupuncturist's being stuck on the aroma therapist!'

A reflexology chart with all labels reading "Feet".

"Now we'll let the healing power of these stones do absolutely nothing."

Dennis Wong Acupuncturist

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

Acupuncture appointment card, pinned to chest.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

Couples' therapy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'We have three minutes left.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'