Alternative Lifestyle Advocate Pillows

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Cover your eyes.'

VOTE!, 'I'm a fiscal conservative and a social liberal!'

Rat Race Dropout

nudist surgeon.

'Somehow, Doris seems to recognize all these masked men.'

Free-range tofu.

'You must stop this terrible violence.'

"As vegan zombies, are we allowed to eat brains?"

"Do you have a vegetarian option?"

"Brrroccollliii...brrroccollliii...I told you I was a vegetarian when we met, Dwayne, so get over it!"

Meat is murder

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"It's an alternative-lifestyle choice! Why am I automatically labelled as "feral"?!"

"Did you know the first nudist resort opened in Germany in 1903 in Dresden?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Vegetarian Birds

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

The Mainstream

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

'It's going to be a vegan.'

REPENT! Get back to nature

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."