Alternative Lifestyle Advocate T-Shirts

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Cover your eyes.'

VOTE!, 'I'm a fiscal conservative and a social liberal!'

Rat Race Dropout

nudist surgeon.

'Somehow, Doris seems to recognize all these masked men.'

Free-range tofu.

'You must stop this terrible violence.'

"As vegan zombies, are we allowed to eat brains?"

"Do you have a vegetarian option?"

"Brrroccollliii...brrroccollliii...I told you I was a vegetarian when we met, Dwayne, so get over it!"

Meat is murder

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"It's an alternative-lifestyle choice! Why am I automatically labelled as "feral"?!"

"Did you know the first nudist resort opened in Germany in 1903 in Dresden?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Vegetarian Birds

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

The Mainstream

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

REPENT! Get back to nature

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"You're too sedentary."

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'