Alternative Celebrator Pillows

Festivus poles

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

Non-Denominational Carols

Christmas sweater alternatives

Louisiana Mask Mandate

"Happy new year!"

Year of the Rat

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

Birthday Painting

"I'm gay and I'm a caterer, so it's a real win-win."

The wedding.

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

We're making progress, but it's still too early to be breaking out the party hats and noise-makers.

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

"OK, class, for Hispanic Heritage Month, I want you draw a Latino hero."

St David's Day

"The day after Thanksgiving is a day of rest for cooks."

"We'd like to promote the concept of a nontraditional Thanksgiving."

'Happy 138 B.C.!!'

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

'This year I'm celebrating Valentines Day by myself, I have to economize.'

'He drinks to forget and today it's our wedding anniversary.'

"For Hispanic Heritage Month, I declare myself...queen of Hispanic heritage!"

Happy Whatever

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

Christmas party for the home worker

Burn's Night.

Social Distance Seder

"Um. Mr Trump? You called for a Muslim band?"

Gone But Not Forgotten

Easter Bunny with a Stick and a Carrot.

Christmas cracker goes 'ping' instead of 'bang'.

'I've decided to give up Lent.'

"Today is the Feast of the Epiphany, also known as El Dia de los Reyes. On this day, we celebrate the arrival of the three wise men, and children everywhere receive special gifts."