Alpha Male Humor Gifts

'Alpha Males in the biology lab.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

May all your birthday wishes come true..

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"That's just the end of the panel, girl."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Human males marking territory.

"I hate shaking hands with him, he always squeezes as hard as he can!"

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

'The poll results are clear Sir: Your days as the Alpha Male are numbered...'

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"Many of you were confused about the 'Randy's how to be an alpha' lesson from yesterday: 'live like you've got nothing left to lose'."

"I said 'blow job' not 'blow chunks'."

"Do you believe me now? Look at him — he poured my water bowl on your head, not me. He drew us. He controls everything!"

Alpha Pansy... Grrrrrr

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

"Have you a cabernet that will pair well with dysfunction?"

Uniporn

"To be an alpha male, little buddy, you've got to live like you've got nothing left to lose."

Please don't tell the cows they are in a cartoon.

Sykes works in our accounts clearing department...

North Pole Adult Toy Testing Lab

"Alpha Male."

'Firstly Madame, the Green Grocer is across the road and secondly that should explain why your 'bananas' are vibrating...!'

"He was the lifeguard at the gene pool."

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

"I'm not sure grieving openly is very many. I sure wouldn't want any of the guys in my crocheting group seeing me do it."

"Why don't we call it a draw?"

"This is all just some big caption contest to you, isn't it?"