Alley Warrior T-Shirts

"Payback time."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

'Bad dog- I said WALKIES!'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

"Work with me!"

Protecting Nature

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"Just when you think you've got it all figured out, they hit you with algebra."

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

Dear Author: Benign way of saying no. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

'I have allergies, so before I can eat you, I need to know if you contain traces of nuts...'

'Look - there's the first swallow of summer.'

This Spring's Girl will be a warrior type, a survivor.

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"Dad's allergies kicked in during out special 'man to man' walk...so I learned all about the birds and the sneeze."