All-rounder Fan Gifts

Jacques Kallis

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"Me, a footballer. . ?"

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

There's nothing awesome to see at the movies these days. What're you talking about? Avengers 2 just came out. I know. It's been out for like an entire weekend. It's old news. The next blockbuster is "Mad Max," and that's not out until the 15th! Hollywood is totally neglecting the entire May 4th-to-May-15th window! That kind of gaping hole is unconscionable. You can always watch "In the Name of My Daughter."

Fancy Dress Box

"First gig in a while?"

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

"Don't worry, sweetie... Daddy is just adjusting the television...Mr. Maher is all in favor of people being exposed to channels like HBO."

"Armstrong, have you seen my phone?" "Indeed I have, minion." "I’ve trained the café’s rodents to abscond with unattended cell phones, which I then return to patrons, earning their gratitude and loyalty." "You did not." "No, I didn’t. But it’s always been a dream of mine." "Very bad man." "Thank you for the opportunity to role play."

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

"I'm a bird dog."

Heat Wave Podium

"You can't bully me."

"Let's play CEO's and regulators."

"Say, Coach. . . since we always get beat by 40 points or more, it might make more sense to hold our moment of prayer before the game, not after."

"Darell is sharing his pet with us today. I'm sure the whole class will find this very entertaining."

Very little fan fair.

Imran Khan

"How about that? Is Cruz a collector?"

"Quick Henry, pretend you're going to attack me."

Armstrong, have you seen my phone? Indeed I have, minion. I've trained the caf