All-rounder Fan Gifts

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"Me, a footballer. . ?"

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

Fancy Dress Box

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

"Armstrong, have you seen my phone?" "Indeed I have, minion." "I’ve trained the café’s rodents to abscond with unattended cell phones, which I then return to patrons, earning their gratitude and loyalty." "You did not." "No, I didn’t. But it’s always been a dream of mine." "Very bad man." "Thank you for the opportunity to role play."

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

"I'm a bird dog."

"You can't bully me."

Heat Wave Podium

"Let's play CEO's and regulators."

"Say, Coach. . . since we always get beat by 40 points or more, it might make more sense to hold our moment of prayer before the game, not after."

Very little fan fair.

"Quick Henry, pretend you're going to attack me."

"Kid, you got a 'While You Were Out' message."