Alien Invasion Humorist Gifts

'The best place to land is Southern California -- they're used to it.'

'Planet earth is doomed! They all look like your mother!'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

EARTH DAY. Whatever.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

An astronaut with a little alien drilling into his helmet.

'Face it, Herbert. You're not a lap dog!'

Astronaut dowsing on new planet.

New evidence from Curiosity; Martian blood likely to be green.