Alien Humorist Gifts

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

'Flight simulator'

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

Close encounters of the turd kind...

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

If aliens' first contact is with a dad...

EARTH DAY. Whatever.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

Small laughing space creatures.

Planetary Invasion Supplies Store - Abduct Tape.

Hedge of two moo cows

"I'm pretty sure I've already seen a rock like that in some museum back on Earth."